This Just In – 7 Reasons You Might Not Want to Be Ready For Dancing With the Stars to Get Married

We’ve all seen them: youtube recordings of wedding dances with more moving parts than a power plant. We’ve seen the congregations (uh, audiences?) wowed and laughing. We’ve seen wedding parties boogaloo down the aisle, while the celebrant shifts nervously from foot to foot with a pained, panicked look that says he’s lost control of the ceremony. What talent! What poise. What do you mean it’s a wedding? It looks like a talent show! Prize to the couple with the tux and the fluffy dress! Or the two tuxes! Or the two fluffy dresses.

While these elaborate choreographies can provide an interesting note, they actually might not do much to keep you or your community focused on what’s really happening on your wedding day: which is that you and your beloved are making wedding vows that you plan on keeping for the rest of your life. Let’s keep that in mind. Maybe I’m a fuddy-duddy or a killjoy, but I think there are good reasons to save your dancing prowess for another day.

1. You actually don’t need any extra stress on your wedding day or during your wedding planning. Let’s see: you’re getting married; entering into a relationship you want to last forever. You’re pulling off a larger and more elaborate party than you may give for the rest of your life. And now you want to add, choreographing, learning and performing a 5-minute dance routine? Trust me, there are already plenty of details to struggle over! Save your struggling for something that matters!
2. You may actually not be tremendous dancers. So why would you choose this particular time in your life to learn an absolutely new skill (that might not be all that fun) simply because other people are doing it? Answer: I don’t know!
3. Dancing may not be the skill you will need most at your wedding. What you need most at your wedding is to be present to the momentous steps you are taking and to the incredible community that is supporting you.
4. Dancing may not be the skill you will need most in your marriage. While it’s not as much fun, you’re going to want to spend some time on developing your skills in problem resolution and financial management. (Maybe we need to award prizes for weddings coming in under budget and with closer family ties.)
5. Your community wants to support you in marriage. They want to witness your promises and see/feel/understand how much you love one another and how you’re going to make this whole thing work.
6. The focus of your wedding is actually your relationship. You can argue that dancing is a metaphor, but then you wander onto shaky ground – do you really always want to work that hard and worry about whether your foot is perfectly placed in your marriage? Marriage is hard work, but it can also be sweet and simple and easy. That might be an easier metaphor to pull off and might not distract folks from what’s at the heart of the work of your wedding.
7. A wedding isn’t a talent show. It’s the unrehearsed moments and the un-programmed interactions that come from the careful planning of the wedding ceremony and wedding that will be the sweetest and, perhaps, the most meaningful. You want to find ways to help your community participate in your lives, not watch you perform.

So give yourselves a break. Work on your wedding ceremony, simplify your party, have a wonderful wedding and a sweet, long life together! Dancing is a blast, but sometimes it’s optional!