Bedtime Prayers
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. “Please God,” she said, “Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy.”
Her mother interrupted and said, “Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?”
And Julie replied, “Because that’s what I put in my geography exam!”
Did You Say Treatment, or Cure?
Two farmers met with each other, and the first one said, “Didn’t your horse have that disease that was going around?” The friend replied, “Yes, he did! He had it bad.” “So, what did you do for him?” asked the first farmer. “Well, I dosed him good with a half pint of linseed oil, a tablespoon of turpentine, and three tablespoons of castor oil.”
A few days later, the two farmers met again. The first farmer asked his friend, “Didn’t you tell me you gave your horse a half pint of linseed oil, a tablespoon of turpentine, and three tablespoons of castor oil?” The second said, “Yes, I sure did!” The first farmer exclaimed, “I thought that’s what you said, but when I gave it to my horse, he died!” And the friend said, “Of course! Mine did, too!”
Funny Faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”
Fat Man and Thin Man
A very thin man met a very fat man in the hotel lobby.
” From your looks,” said the fat man, ” there might have been a famine.”
” Yes,” was the reply,” and from your looks, you might have caused it.”
Do I have any other choice?
One day, Eve asked Adam, “Do you really love me?”
Adam said helplessly, “Do I have any other choice?”