Increase Sales By Flying Under Your Prospect’s "Radar Defense"
Jim Edwards asked:
How to persuade someone to do what you want them to do? A whole world of marketing exists around us that we try to do that every minute of the day. Do even more believe it or, as your brochures, facciagli subconscious install a system of "defenses" of the radar, against the daily bombardment of sales messages? Take a minute and counting methods of advertising that are fighting for your attention (and money) every day. Once the basic list includes: & middot; Ads & Yellow Pages; middot; & Magazine Ads and journal middot; cards, catalogs and direct mail bypasses your "" of the snail mail box & middot; Steps of radio interrupt the flow of your favorite songs &; middot; TV ads – a value of about 20 minutes per hour now &; middot; Hundreds of rooms front of the store, "mega" shopping centers and strip malls &; middot; boards the billboards of the main road from thousands & middot; The bypasses have hanging on your Doorknob & middot; illegal signs on the stop lights and the poles & the phone; middot; Messages & legitimate email; middot; The email spam or ECU (unsolicited commercial email) as soon as these 11 sources can overwhelm your brain with messages of sale. Like rats blocked, people develop defenses against this onslaught of violence without end. Throws up a wall or a "defense" of the radar, that comes into action the minute he feels the smell of a "pitch" or a job in sales. Don 't of the blames. All we do! So as you can get around this psychological wall against the sales and ongoing sales messages? Well, the answer is not in hitting people with the advertising more frequently and more unpleasant or unfair tactics and sneaky. Could you convince them to fidarselo for a minute, but fail in the long term. You should preferably do two things: 1. First, you must establish credibility for you and your business as expert.2. Secondly, you have to reduce their fears about the trade with him. Do these two things it will get beyond the argument and will allow the opportunity to persuade to buy your product. As it appears on "these two, simple" things? What will win someone 's attention, raise your credibility and lower their fear factor all at the same time? The answer of one word really applies to most everything. Trust! If a seller can get behind your defenses with information which incite to fidarselo of, then that credibility will return in a sale much of the time. How can you get this credibility? Well, take this next fact as online sales, gospel, "for a lot of people have demonstrated their effectiveness. Fact: Publishing and promoting with free articles gives him one of the most powerful opportunities available to turn the buyers' level of credibility of s in your favor. How can we prove this? Quite easily actually. Take a break from reading this and go check a newspaper or a magazine a minute. What you trust more, ads or articles? Most people will choose the articles hands down. Why? As the items don 'test ta "sell" you something. Instead, distribute the information for educational or other practical skills. Most of us have grown up in a culture that says we can believe and "trust" what appears in the standard news "or" information "available. That is, if it appears in print, then we can believe and trust the author. So go ahead! Use this lifetime of conditioning to your advantage in selling your products and services! Very few things will create the atmosphere of trust and confidence in people as reading one of your articles on a subject that greatly interests them. He shows who knows your business. Also shows more than just simply trying to sell something. The publication of the articles leaves literally fly under their advertising; radar defenses. "So remember these points when they decide independently whether to use articles to promote your business: 1. The many little things generates confidence and trust in the minds of potential customers as reading an article you wrote on a subject which specifically and intensely interested them.2. Articles establish credibility quickly because, right or wrong, we 'the VE all trained to trust the "news." 3. An article, or series of articles, differentiated from the competition, who bombard people with nothing but the sales messages.4. The provision of the articles meet-rich and non-sales-oriented also help to build and solidify your relationship with current customers to give repeat business. —- Jim Edwards is a reporter for the newspaper together in union and co-author of the amazing new ebook, "Turn words into traffic," that will teach him how to use free articles to quickly drive thousands of visitors to the designated your web site or affiliate link! Click here ==> editors of electronic publications attention http://hop.clickbank.net/?iknowhow/ezarticles ** / site owners ** Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your publication or electronic on your site provided you leave all links in place, do not alter the content and include our resource box as listed above. Feel free to substitute your affiliate link in place of our link in the resource box. Earnings up to 50% on every purchaser you refer! We pay out a * * Thousands of dollars in fees every month! The details of the branch are available here: http://www.ebookfire.comIf use the material please send us a note so we can take a look. Thank you. ** If you get a MESSAGE TO JIM, please go to http://www.ReplyToJim.com© Sale Guaranteed Response, PO Box LLC of 878 Lightfoot, VA 23188 (757) 715-2157 – =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Bad Credit Loans: a Good Option for Bad Times
The entire world is now worried about the economic future and even the most stalwart and dependable financial organisations have become shaky, unreliable, and reluctant to lend money to just about anyone. Meanwhile the confidence and hope of ordinary wage earners and small businesses is crumbling as they realise that it is nearly impossible to get loans they so desperately need.
Ministers are being pressured to force British banks to loosen their purse strings and lend critical funds to businesses and homeowners that are being squeezed by the credit crunch, but so far there has been little positive response. The financial institutions themselves are so concerned about their own weak levels of cash reserves that they are even afraid to lend to each other – much less to ordinary customers who face drastic challenges while trying to cope with higher prices and less job stability.
Banks have increased the interest rates they charge their customers, despite the significant drop in the bank base rate. The base rate is now at around three percent, which is the lowest it has been in half a century. But the average annual interest charge on credit cards has climbed to nearly 18 percent.
Rates on store cards are even higher in many cases, with many merchants charging 25 percent or more. High Street chain shops like Principles, Karen Millen and Oasis, for example, have been known to charge close to 29 percent.
But these high rates – and the conspicuous lack of personal and business loans – are happening while the Insolvency Service reports alarming rates of personal bankruptcy. Insolvency in the UK has soared approximately 12 per cent within the past three or four months, and about 175 people each day were declared bankrupt in the third quarter of the year.
The Guardian also reported that company liquidations have also surged by 25 percent in the past three months, a figure that represents more than a 10 percent rise from the previous quarter. So far this year the rate of liquidations has grown by more than 26 percent when compared to figures for 2007.
Those who do become insolvent face an uphill battle in terms of their financial future, too, because while they attempt to make a new fresh start, conventional lenders reject their requests for loans due to their lowered credit scores and damaged payment histories.
But bad credit lenders are still lending just as much now – and in fact much more than they normally do – because they specialise in loans made to people with less than stellar credit. These non-traditional credit companies base their whole fundamental business on serving customers and small businesses who have bad credit, low credit scores, and less income and assets – so they actually make more loans during times like these when banks and other conventional lenders turn customers away and reject mortgage applications.
Those who have experienced a bankruptcy, trouble paying their mortgage on time, or a tightening of credit card credit limits can typically get loan approval without any difficulty through these bad credit lenders.
Some British consumers use bad credit loans – which earned their name because they are made to those with poor credit – to get through temporary difficulties such as a short-term budget crisis or loss of employment. Others use them for longer term financing, such as car loans, property remortgaging, or business capital. Whatever financial needs one may have, Bad Credit Loans can offer a helping hand – and the necessary funds – to get through this tough economic period.
By: Andy Hygate
About the Author:
Andy Hygate writes for Loans Bad Credit a leading UK provider of Bad Credit Loans
The Hotel Industry and Recessions
The hotel industry is a very interesting industry to examine. On the one hand, hotels have to contend with huge fixed costs. The management often has to worry about staff wages, enormous utilities bills, rooms and facilities maintenance, and other expenses. Obviously, it is not easy to run a hotel well. So have you ever wondered how hotels managed to survive when there is a recession?
A recession makes it even harder for hotels to survive, not to mention being profitable. Consumer confidence is affected, and tourists tend to be more cautious with their spending. If bookings for hotel rooms suffer, the profit and loss statements are not going to look good either. Once the number of bookings for rooms decline, it affects all other areas of the hotels. The revenues for bars, restaurants, and other facilities all decline as well. Therefore, in times of recession, hotels must come up with innovative ways to not only survive but to thrive.
You see, people who travel need hotels for many different reasons. Some travel for leisure, while others travel for business purposes. For those who travel just to relax, they can opt to cut back on spending during a recession. However, they still need entertainment – i.e. time away from their work. So those who are in the habit of taking vacations will still travel. The only difference is, perhaps they spend less.
As for those who travel for business, traveling is a need. It’s part of the livelihood of the traveler. So even when there is a recession, there will still be people traveling for business meetings, business conventions, and so on. In other words, there is still a demand for hotel rooms. But again, in a recession, travelers are more likely to opt for more affordable accommodation.
So hotels who understand this can come up with a variety of measures to remain competitive, and woo more travelers to the hotels. For example, some hotels choose to cut costs, by offering no frills bedding. You can’t expect lots of fanciful bells and whistles to go with the accommodation. But you can expect clean sheets and comfortable bedding. These are the essential items that meet basic needs.
Others have chosen to run aggressive promotions on top of cost cutting measures. The goal is to get the word out, letting travelers know that in the current economic climate, they can save when they stay with affordable hotels.
The challenge for such hotels, is to keep the quality of service, while offering accommodation at competitive rates. Only the best who know what they are doing can survive with this strategy.
As a consumer, this means good news. You can still travel for leisure or for business and expect to find hotels with clean bedding, wireless internet access, and other basic facilities. Maybe when times are better, you can choose to stay in more luxurious hotels.
By: Gen Wright
About the Author:
China Blasts U.s. Economic Policy, Expresses Doubt in Financial System
Money Morning asked:
By Jason Simpkins
Associate Editor
Money Morning
China blasted U.S. economic policy yesterday (Thursday) at the Strategic Economic Dialogue, a two-day summit engineered to address long-term issues between the two countries. Chinese authorities have grown more fervent, and more explicit, with their criticism of the U.S. financial system over the past year, evidence of a shift in the balance of power between the nations.
“Over-consumption and a high reliance on credit is the cause of the U.S. financial crisis,” said Zhou Xiaochuan, governor of the Chinese central bank. “As the largest and most important economy in the world, the U.S. should take the initiative to adjust its policies, raise its savings ratio appropriately and reduce its trade and fiscal deficits.”
This kind of lecture was a deviation from past meetings, which were dominated by U.S. calls for China to better manage its fiscal policies. However, the global financial turmoil that has emanated from the collapsing U.S. housing market has left the United States without a pulpit on which to stand.
“One result of the crisis is that the U.S. no longer holds the high ground to lecture China on financial or macroeconomic policies,” Eswar Prasad, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, told the Financial Times. “This may actually help turn their relationship into a more equal partnership with less posturing on both sides.”
Indeed, U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, who in the past used summits like these to press Beijing to open its financial system and appreciate its currency, was noticeably more humble in representing the United States yesterday.
“International cooperation and coordination have been robust and we appreciate the responsible role China has played in the crisis,” he said.
Meanwhile, Wang Qishan, vice premier and leader of the Chinese delegation called on the United States to “take the necessary measures to stabilize the economy and financial markets as well as guarantee the safety of China’s assets and investments in the U.S.”
Wang’s remarks followed those of Lou Jiwei, chairman of China’s $200 billion sovereign wealth fund, China Investment Corp. (CIC), who said Wednesday that his firm lacks the confidence to invest in the United States, particularly U.S. financial institutions.
“Right now we don’t have the courage to invest in financial institutions because we don’t know what problems we will put ourselves into,” Lou said at a conference in Hong Kong. “My confidence should come from government policies. But if they are changing every week, how can you expect that to make me confident?”
CIC has lost about $6 billion of the $8 billion it invested in Morgan Stanley (MS) and The Blackstone Group LP (BX) last year. More importantly, however, China last month overtook Japan as the largest holder of U.S. government debt. And according to the Financial Times, officials have privately admitted that they are concerned about the value of the holdings.
Concerned with China’s overexposure to the United States, central bank governor Zhou said policymakers should no only address the country’s slowing economy, but “restructure the development model” and prepare “for a worst-case scenario,” the FT reported.
However, Chinese officials also say that any large-scale unwinding of U.S. holdings would be counterproductive, as the value of U.S. bonds and the dollar would subsequently plummet.
To read more click here.
Investment News
Suggestions While Working With SEO Company
Himanshu Singh asked:
Things to consider and work with EES firmBased on my experience of implementation of SEO projects for over half a decade, I am sending an blog that deals with suggestions for a client who works with all the SEO professional or company SEO to optimize your Web site. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Have complete faith in the professional SEO: Once finished the professional SEO or SEO Company, Exposures of their ability?. Also you have to trust their knowledge and experience. A world free hands to work on their methodology and allow learning of the basic principles of their approach and method. You can discuss the models that prepare for your Web site, in detail with them. Ci? help? Your SEO professional in earning your confidence and also help? in the level of comodit? with your SEO professional. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? expectations are reasonable / realistic about your SEO project: the work of Miracles? t of? of the can? SEO regardless of their record of past experience. Especially if the place? Again, pu? require months to really see the traffic build up because of the SEO work. Soits quite unfair on your part to provide your web site that appears subtly in the search results of top 10 one month of the SEO work done. Ci? ? why a good professional SEO NOT guarantee some results for the SEO work. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Be patient with the results and be realistic: not SEO? tie a fuse that could ignite a chain reaction, and your place will be? bombarded with huge traffic in a matter of time. You must be patient with SEO. SEO takes time to achieve as the scientific method? S.A. of? of it? and can be made after undertaking a series of actions, any comprehensive analysis of demand. The method of application by a professional SEO pu? take time to get moved in steps correctly and can take a little while to get the engines of bysearch of appreciation in terms of seats. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Functions in detail and with SEO Curili as a member: You need SEO detail about every tiny thing on functions? of your business so that you can give him a respectable search on keywords. Tell him about the nature of trade, the behavior of the customer, product, your competitors, the gruppo-obiettivo/zona. Based on information provided by you, can SEO? select the right combinations of keywords and can amplify your posts Web site and get the right traffic. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Be prepared to pay for work of quality: Choose a professional / SEO SEO based on the register. Zero in on once everything is based on the professional opportunity, then be ready to pay for work of quality? you expect from him. ? if you pay peanuts, the? of? get? of? of monkeys?. Ci? plenty of people who? ready to do SEO in a couple hundred dollars. Their job? just stuff keywords and generate the metas and facts. What? I recommend? ? cautious while selecting and SEO? willing to pay for work of quality? because? ? something which is going to bring in more? MOOLAH to your business and your development depends on it. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? do not hesitate taking a class from elementary SEO professional about the methods and methodologies SEO: Learn the basics of SEO by the professional SEO who works on your project. It takes little effort but the reward? quite satisfying. Not be in the dark about the progress of SEO and you will reach a level of comodit? with your SEO professional. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? SEO does not? an effort once: SEO is not doing a job once and then sits and waits for results. You can identify with the efforts of sales and normal sales. You must continu Aare refine the method based on the results that you get a creeping motion after motion strip. You have to measure the parameters is limited and consequently the changes in your web site / meet / performances so that you get better and? Better visibility?. After the job? Indeed, on putting in some time &; amp? King, the efforts to support the posts and continue to act to improve the seats. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? The success of your business does not depend entirely on SEO: There? ? one of the most important aspects. Not on SEO accounts for the generation of pi? income and increasing the scope of your business among potential buyers. An EES can determining the designated traffic to your Web site, however, can not? forcing visitors to buy from you if its any product or service. The real sale depends entirely on your range of products, levels of service you offer, after-sales service, evaluation service / product and many other factors. What? its unfair to judge the professional SEO liable if you are not getting the desired jump in sales even after increase in traffic to your Web site.
How Can it Industry Survive in the Financial Crisis
Laura L. asked:
Fact sheet: IT Industry is affected by the Financial Crisis
On Sept 30 2008, Steve Ballmer, CEO of Microsoft spoke at a news conference in Norway “We have a lot of business with the corporate sector as well as with the consumer sector and whatever happens economically will certainly effect itself on Microsoft,” he told Reuters.
“I think one has to anticipate that no company is immune to these issues,” he said,
Meantime, stock price of Apple dropped 40% during 6 weeks. On the other hand, according to the Forrester’s survey(a research company based in USA), nearly 43% company cut down the budget on IT to deal with the financial crisis, and more than 49% IT dept in financial industry has the same planning.
Furthermore, from the majority IT Company’s third quarter Financial Report, we can see the whole industry meet a large decline in sales; it marks that the winter for IT industry coming.
Why financial crisis affect IT industry?
As we know, financial industry is the most important factor in the economy development. When financial organization suffered a great loss, the financial crisis will become credit crisis. It means currency circulation crisis, then it’s very difficult for us to borrow money from bank. Without the support from financial organizations, a large amount of companies will meet a financial shortage and have to cut down the budget.
Secondly, due to the shrinking discretionary spending, people can not figure out the trend of Financial Crisis and no one can say how much it will affect our business and life. The so corporations and individuals keep their pocket tight and wait and see; it is going to affect business investment on IT products consumer spending.
Thirdly, each industry is connected and affected by the economic structure. Since the bankruptcy of banks and financial organizations, how can IT industry be immune from this crisis but ignoring the interactional linkage?
Is there any solution for IT Firms to survive from the financial crisis?
The answer is absolutely yes. Those are “innovation in technology, switch or begin into new business sector” can definitely survive and grow their business, though the financial crisis took all us to a predicament.
Nevertheless, Crisis not only gives us challenge but also Opportunity. Challenge and Opportunity are twins and often appear simultaneously.
Let’s analyze the current situation in IT Industry. Since the shrinking purchase power, most companies would prefer to maintain and repair their IT hardware instead of buying new ones. For the IT service/Repair Firms, they will not decrease but get more business.
However, we can not ignore the crisis and wait passively. We have to expand our business arrange and survive from it.
For example, IT firms can invest and start new business in IT industry, such as computer application service, computer maintenance data backup/recovery and etc.
Along with the proliferation of computers in business, the demand for various incidental IT services is increasing. Data recovery service is one of these incidental services and the most promising one.
Why Data Recovery is a most promising service for IT firms?
Firstly, Data loss not only means a large sum of cost wasting for companies. It also hampers routines and slows down development of enterprise. So if there is any way to rescue the data and avoid the loss, all companies are willing to accept and buy the service.
Secondly, IT firms have one unique advantage to start Data Recovery Service. Mostly, Data loss is always companied by computer crash. When Computer Crash happened, most clients wouldn’t realize that they need data recovery service. They prefer to call IT service companies to repair their computer. So if IT firms can provide data recovery service while clients need it, it is very favorable for both clients and IT firms.
Thirdly, data recovery is new and it has bright prospective future. If you heard of the JBL ad on airplane and know JBL starts providing Data Recovery Service, how will you react on that?
So for most IT firms, Data Recovery Service can be new revenue.
What Procedure is Data Recovery assignment involved?
The following three issues are critical for your data recovery business. They includes the first (Technical Know-How) and the last two (Marketing Plan and Financial Resources) followed only if you can handle the first.
Technical Know-How: As this industry is professional, specialized know-how is required to handle the varied types of data recovery assignments. Generally speaking, there is 3+1 work flow applicable to all data recovery case:
Of all the stages, Stage 3–data retrieval, is the most widely spread and long-running; all data recovery companies, even end users, by downloading software, can handle mission of this stage easily. But according to SalvationDATA experts only 30 to 40 percent of all data recovery cases are simply stage 3 cases. The left percentage requires an ability to handle with the stage 2 and stage plus 1 issue.
Stage 2, disk data extraction, is also widely known and adopted as “disk imaging” by data recovery services nowadays. But to SalvationDATA, according our experience with lots of potential clients, they perform this important stage using ghosting tools designed for and work on good HDDs only, not the patient HDDs that are unstable or inaccessible because of media defects and instable head, which are common challenges of Stage 2 in practice. Even more, with those traditional imaging tools, the time involved and the ordinary user-level repeated-read access to the media bring a risk of damaging the disk and head, making data lost irretrievable.
Stage 1, drive diagnosis & restoration, is the primary stage in a broad sense data recovery flow but in fact deals with the deepest level in 3+1 broad sense data recovery flow. Unfortunately this Stage 1 is missing from most of the data recovery services or even noticed but was being done in a zigzag procedure or simply incorrectly due to lack of proper tools, meaning that they are putting away customers and profits. Our data has shown that up to 40% of data recovery cases have Stage 1 issues; and that IS NOT what going to happen that we can skip Stage 1 and perform Stage 2 and 3 and still to get certain percentage of data. You CAN NOT get anything in case you are not capable for the primary stage
Plus 1, it refers to Head or Platter Exchanger when encountered with motor seizure or head crash. This kind of problem often happens where the Drive is clicking or dropping from height. Concerning this issue, you need to replace the components and fix the mechanical malfunction first.
From above 3+1 work flow, you may get know the basic guidance of data recovery.
Then let’s move the following 2 factors which are relevant to your data recovery service.
Marketing Plan: It is the same as other service you are engaged in. It needs marketing plans and strategy. You should think more about customers’ convenience, satisfaction, price setting, and target market. If possible, you need advertising on different mediums too.
Financial Resources: Of course you need budget to get the business started before you benefit from your investment. You need facilities like a Clean Room and equipments to carry out the assignments. You also need to pay expensive technicians.
Supposing the Marketing and Financial investment are not the barriers to stop you, then you need think more about the facilities and data recovery equipments.
I have to admit that Data Recovery is a game for professionals and engineers to play, it is impossible to get started without any HDD Data Recovery Equipments provider.
SalvationDATA technology LLC, not unacquainted name in Data Recovery Industry, is the biggest and cost-effective solution provider all over the world. Their free technical support & Remote assistance and free updates, enhance the industry beginners’ confidence greatly and assist them to enter the industry as soon as possible.
This leading company has Data Compass, HD Doctor Suite and HPE pro. They are aiming at different stages of Data Recovery.
The HD Doctor Suite is aimed especially at Stage 1 (Drive In-depth diagnosis and Restoration ) and Data Compass at Stage 2 (disk data extraction) + 3 (data retrieval?and HD HPE pro at Plus 1 (Head or Platter Exchanger when encountered with motor seizure or head crash).
They also set up America Market Department and committed to providing with top service and support for clients from United States, Canada, Brazil, Mexico and Columbia and etc.
You can get more details at www.diskdatarecoverytools.com
Dating Tips
Confessions of Every Man’s “Dream Woman
According to Michael P. Johnson, professor of sociology at Penn State, there are three things that keep a person in a marriage: people want to stay, they feel they ought to stay, and/or they have to stay. This combination of personal, moral, and structural commitment serves to keep people in marriages.
Notice that commitment keeps people in marriage–not happiness. Dr. Ted Huston of the University of Texas Austin studied couples from courtship to marriage. His ten-year-plus study exploded many popular misconceptions about love. For example, he found that many recently wed couples did not experience newlywed bliss; in fact, couples whose marriages began with “Hollywood romance” intensity soon burned out. A couple expecting wedded bliss every day of their lives was actually more likely to divorce than a couple with a less exciting relationship, because they were more likely to consider divorce when those intense feelings subsided. Does that mean that less exciting, even lackluster relationships last? They do indeed, perhaps because they have less far to fall.
Research shows that unhappy periods in a marriage are not indicative of future unhappiness. In fact, one study showed that 86% of unhappily married couples who stayed with their marriage were happier five years later–three fifths of whom were “quite” or “very happy.”
According to the 2004 “State of Our Unions” report by the National Marriage Project, the percentage of married people 18 or older who said that their marriage was very happy has declined over the last quarter century, from about 69% in the mid 1970s to 64% for men and 60% for women today. That’s less than two-thirds of the married population who considers themselves very happy in their relationship. Clearly, you don’t have to be blissfully in love or very happy for your relationship to last. What do you need?
It’s not love and luck. It’s commitment and companionship. Commitment means that you have powerful personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay in the relationship. Companionship means that you and your partner form a unified team against whatever challenges life hands you. Team members may fight, disagree, and encounter stalemates, but they know that their happiness and satisfaction in life depends on the success of the team–not on their individual success.
When Marriage Fails … Who and How
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not men who seek divorce. It’s women, by an overwhelming majority. The reasons for this are varied. Part of it is the nature of divorce laws; another part is the fact that men tend to have more problems with marriage-destroying behaviors like alcoholism, affairs, and substance abuse, that cause their wives to seek separation.
Divorce is hard on everyone. The damage divorce causes to children is usually worse than the damage caused by living in a two-parent home with marital difficulties. This is contrary to the popular belief that children are better off if their parents divorce rather than live together. Studies show that only in a minority of high-conflict situations is this true.
After a divorce, a woman’s standard of living can be expected to drop while a man’s standard of living may actually improve. Yet men suffer in other ways. Divorced and separated men are two and a half times more likely to commit ******* than married men. This is partially due to the fact that men, unlike women, are less likely to have a strong support network to share their feelings. Whether due to this need for companionship or not, divorced men are more likely to remarry than divorced women, and they’re more likely to remarry sooner.
Who Has the Real Power in a Relationship
Regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman, whether you pay the bills or stay at home, or whether you need your spouse more than your spouse needs you, there is only one person in control of any relationship. That person has the power to turn a relationship around or run it into the ground. And that person usually never realizes how much power he/she wields until it is too late.
That person is you.
You have the choice to either react to the situation you’re in (by complaining about your marriage, allowing yourself to be swamped by negative emotions, or feeling out of control), or to take responsibility and choose your actions. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can hurt you without your consent.”
Even if you cannot change your partner’s behavior, you can choose how you respond to that behavior. You can internalize the blame, the hurt, and the criticism, or you can take responsibility for your own feelings and choose to act the way you want to feel.
Think again about that last concept. You should act the way you want to feel. If you want to feel more loving towards your spouse, act more loving. If you want to feel happier in your marriage, smile more and express gratitude for the good things in your marriage. It’s one of the strangest aspects of human psychology that the more you act the way you want to feel (thankful, peaceful, loving, affectionate, etc.) the more you will begin to feel that way.
Few people realize this. When a marriage begins to crumble, their first instinct is to act out their emotions. They feel hurt, so they lash out. They feel criticized, so they become defensive. They feel vulnerable, so they close up. These are reactions, not actions. Your feelings should NOT make you act in ways that you don’t want to.
You have the power to transform your marriage, even if your partner doesn’t want to. That’s because your behavior has an enormous influence on your partner, to the point that married people actually grow alike over time. We can’t help but pick up our partner’s moods, preferences, and ways of saying certain things. If you transform yourself–your attitude, the way you communicate, how often you show love and affection–your partner will be incapable of resisting. A happy, fulfilling relationship begins with you. And in the next part of this mini-course, I’ll show you how to start achieving it.
For an excellent resource and further information, visit Amy Waterman’s – Save My Marriage Today
Dating & Relationship Advice For Today’s Singles
Online
I’ve been giving free online dating advice because I have two objectives – to make sure you are successful with your online dating, and to make sure you stay safe. For starters, the best online services are nerve.
People
Most people get involved with their exes again, and live happily for a few months. While it used to be that successful matches made online, the ones where marriage resulted, were the things of headlines and tabloids, that’s not the case these days where more and more people are meeting online, forming fast friendships and then turning those connections romances that work.
Date
One of the most recurring mental blocks men face before they date is their eagerness to plunge into a deep, stable and unbreakable relationship. After all, this is your first date and the two of you are getting to know each other.
Person
Dating has often been called a “game” because each person is trying to figure out what the other person wants out of the relationship. There are sites for nearly every type of person and lifestyle out there and you will find at least one that suits you perfectly.
Yourself
- Calm yourself by telling yourself you’re excited, not nervous. In short, I’m talking about opening yourself up to a life that embraces Mr. What’s the point of spending money to join, spending time to write a profile, spending time answering a questionairre, only to eliminate yourself from 95% of those searching for you.
Relationship
In essence, courtship is a word that has been applied to describe the biblical basis for the relationship leading up to marriage. So needless to say, I did not listen to my husband, but thought because I had such an open relationship with my daughter and we had been talking about *** since she was 13 years old that she would never have ***…I was very, very wrong.
Love
Women love to laugh. And they are not as keen on actual jokes as men often are – they prefer spontaneous wit and they love to be gently teased. Women love charm, so long as it is natural, cool and unpretentious.
Meet
Your friends start trying to fix you up and you begin to consider going out to meet new people… of the opposite ***. Online dating and personals sites are great ways to meet a variety of people all over the world, but with such convenience it’s easy to lose control.
Single
Women often grumble about the inventory of single men saying, “There are no good men available. I spoke with eight single men in their 40′s who are members of a local dating service. What percentage of single people find bars and dance clubs a useful way to meet other single people.
Internet
If you ever plan on actually meeting people in person from Internet dating services, then be honest. Online Dating is drawing more and more people to the Internet in search of love, but the abundance of dating sites can be confusing for many.
Friends
Women tend to be more person-centred than men are – they love to have lots of friends – and you should have some women as friends for that reason: they will introduce you to their women friends. It involves the initial contact, the getting to know you, the first meeting, the second and subsequent dates, the first kiss, the first moment of true intimacy, sharing hopes and dreams, introducing friends and family, daily contact, blah, blah, blah.
Services
To-date websites offering dating services whether for the same cultural individuals or not, can be found scattered on the web. The concept of dating services is nothing new; it has a history of its own. Their services remain limited to the circulation of the paper.
Singles
You will find regular Speed Dating events in most major cities up and down these countries, and most singles usually go back for more. With so many singles still afraid to try online dating chances are they could end up staying single.
Dates
Gay males and females can find a plenty of options for dates on these sites. Not only will individuals be able to save some money this way; but they would also be able to impress their dates by including some of their favorite foods in the picnic basket.
Profile
This means you pay to view profiles and to have your profile matched with potential dates. I placed my profile on several sites and surveyed the marketplace. Never include your last name, home address, phone number, place of employment, email address or any other identifying information in your profile or initial messages.
Success
With each ticking second your anticipation grew as you weighed the odds of success versus the usually greater odds of rejection and the added embarrassment of looking like a jerk. Let me tell you how you can get big success on your first date itself.
Questions
Sometimes when I read some questions posted by people on dating on forums, I find curious phenomena. Ask simple questions that will help uncover a person’s passions. Thinking about the answers to these questions and concerns, I came up with a well-received presentation, which I’ll highlight here:
Conversation
The sum of the conversation is that “Christian Dating” is a territory that needs more attention simply because of the secularist ideas of dating that seem to market self- serving motives.
Successful
” Many of these sites boast of thousands of successful matches made in heaven and just as many marriages. If you are considering online dating, there are a few tips that can help make the experience a more enjoyable and successful one.
Speed
New research shows that singletons are flocking to speed dating events across the globe in their quest to find Mr or Ms right. Thinking about trying this new speed dating craze. The course and speed of the game is decided by her.
Message
But what most people don’t realise is that only around 10% of dating site members actually meet a long-term partner on their chosen site and a whopping 70% don’t even receive one message from another member. It’s quick to join them, it’s easy to message someone and because you know they are ‘looking’, you are speaking to someone that you already know is available.
Dating & Relationship Advice To Start You Off
Online
You will always here scaremonger stories of how it isn’t safe, and too many online dating services have fake profiles. Singles all over the world are looking for other avenues to find love, and with our online dating tips, you will be one step closer to meeting your future partner and possible soul mate.
People
Many people fall in love in the beginning because they found the shape of nose to be very cute or the laughter very attractive. This is usually what people see first. In my work as a Marriage and Family Therapist most of my practice has been working with couples, because after experiencing divorce growing up as a child, and again after a ten year first marriage, I decided that my mission is to help people have successful marriages and families, and I thought the best way to do that would be as a marriage counselor.
Date
I am very attracted to a man at work and would like to go out on a date with him. ‘Right,’ my date replied. One bad date does not define who you are.
On the first date be a little cautious about the questions you answer.
Person
It is in man’s nature to find his or her partner in life; unless of course the person has made a commitment to the “Single for Life Club”. The purpose of flirtation is to interest another person in you, so showing them what’s great about you is the way to go.
Yourself
Believing you need to make yourself more appealing to attract a partner. – Calm yourself by telling yourself you’re excited, not nervous. In short, I’m talking about opening yourself up to a life that embraces Mr.
What’s the point of spending money to join, spending time to write a profile, spending time answering a questionairre, only to eliminate yourself from 95% of those searching for you.
Relationship
In essence, courtship is a word that has been applied to describe the biblical basis for the relationship leading up to marriage. So needless to say, I did not listen to my husband, but thought because I had such an open relationship with my daughter and we had been talking about *** since she was 13 years old that she would never have ***…I was very, very wrong.
Meet
The advice that I will be offering you is simple and common sense tips that many singles should already know, or after reading this article, should understand what it takes to meet someone special online. Instead, meet in a public place during daylight hours.
Love
So why not pretend to be one of those experts, and tell them things they love to hear. Women love to hear this, from as many people as possible. Come to think of it, all of us as humans love to live in our own comfort zones.
Single
First Corinthians 7 instructs that single brothers and sisters be permitted to marry. I have one friend who was so jaded with regard to relationships and dating, that she had been single for about 3 years. What do single mothers do about dating when they have children at home?
Internet
Hooking up via the Internet is a common trend these days. An internet dating site with millions of members may sound great, but if only three members live anywhere within 1,000 miles of you, it might not be a good fit.
Services
Well, in the next few minutes you will read a comparison between online and offline US dating services and the writers’ opinion on the best dating services. Yet, there are certain services I would prefer paying for. In the huge pool of internet dating services, there are very decent dating sites with tens of thousands of members rather than millions of profiles, giving much better services than bigger dating sites, who are only concerned with their marketing campaign and their sales.
Friends
These are the friends I know for many years, and to me they seem like the type of people that any men or women would desire and be happy to meet, and date; the typical situation is going on numerous, endless blind and non-blind dates, and getting disappointed and many times crushed.
Singles
Before you attend the next singles event or share emails with someone on Match. Busy legitimate singles with limited time can readily meet other singles with similar interests for friendship, dating, or commitment purposes while online. Date up to twenty enthusiastic singles in one evening of whirlwind dating.
Dates
The perky hostess sympathized, saying that she knew of one successful man who had a rule for the women he dates: Half his age plus seven years. To be able to pick and choose and go through dates like they were calendar pages to be tossed away with each passing day.
Profile
If you have decided to find yourself an ideal partner through online dating sites then making a great profile is one of the first steps to achieve that. How to make your online Profile seductive and what to look for in other people profile to know if they are your type or not.
Success
They don’t think about getting success on the first date. Let me tell you how you can get big success on your first date itself. Yet don’t sabotage your success of possibly getting a yes by having an inner tendency to expect rejection.
Conversation
Confidence, self-perception, and the ability to hold a conversation and make a woman feel comfortable are all-important elements to succeeding with and attracting women. This didn’t require deep and complicated conversation but rather open honest words spoken in love and sincerity revealing the person.
Questions
Ask them questions about what they think about just before talking to a woman. You might like to ask questions like:. That means learning to listen – and to show you are listening by asking appropriate questions and using the right body language.
Speed
New research shows that singletons are flocking to speed dating events across the globe in their quest to find Mr or Ms right. Thinking about trying this new speed dating craze. The course and speed of the game is decided by her.
Successful
” Many of these sites boast of thousands of successful matches made in heaven and just as many marriages. Exuding the alpha male confidence is the first step in successful interactions with women, it’s very simple and isn’t a silly dating game.
Tips On Body Language for Successful Flirting
Male and female courtship signals have been studied, and the basic conclusions are that these signals are completely unconscious. The more you consciously understand the signals, the better and more successful you will be when courting the object of your desire, whether it is the man or woman of your dreams.
To master the art of successful flirting, you have to feel good about yourself first. Be confident. Be yourself, or else you will look deceitful or desperate. Flirting can be utilized in just about anything, not just in attracting the opposite sex, but also in attaining just about anything you want in your life. This can be described as good flirting. Good flirting should be done with a precise understanding of what you really want, coupled with positive sensations.
Here are their tips on how you can put good flirting to your advantage:
1. Don’t worry about whether you are making a good impression or not. Instead, analyze how you can make the other person feel good. By doing this, you will get the feedback you are expecting. Soon you will make the connection.
2. Flirting can help you make friends or impress a client if you make yourself approachable. Put a smile on your face, as it gives you an aura of being friendly.
3. Remember that you cannot attract people just by sitting or standing like a statue. There will be instances when you will encounter a person who gets a little bit too close for comfort feel, or someone who makes you feel you are already invading privacy. No matter what you do, you would get a so-called “vacuum” reaction. Tough one, huh? You can avoid this by using gentle moves and by calibrating the person’s reactions to you. Be aware of these signals: mouths get larger, the lips swell, eyes widen, pupils dilate, skin flushes and changes color, muscles around the mouth move, among others.
4. Be persistent. Flirting works best when you are patient. By being such, you will have room for improvement if at first you aren’t getting the results you want. If you fail the first time, do it again the second time, third time, just keep trying. Try different approaches until you realize what will really work best for you. If you were rejected, don’t give up. This goes with the sayings, “To err is human” and “Nobody’s perfect.”
5. This is probably for me the most interesting and somehow funniest tip I got: “Practice in the mirror, only then can you make it perfect!” This is especially true in meeting friends and prospects, because flirting may involve unwanted actions and attention which can put you in the bad light. You may be spontaneous in your actions, but you can’t guard yourself if you are already overdoing it, and I supposed you don’t want to be in that situation. Try practicing with your close friends and ask for feedback.
6. Make the first move! Opportunities knock only once, so if you want something or even someone, go for it, now! Let go of your inhibitions. But remember to apply positive or good flirting. Who knows if the person you meet at that moment is your gateway towards the fulfillment of your dreams.
Let Your Body Language Do The Flirting
Do you know why some people seem to have an easier time attracting the opposite ***? Here’s what you can to do in order to catch the eye of your Honey Bunch.
1. Smile sincerely and frequently. In his article “The Six Don Juan Commandments of Body Language,” Allen Thompson wrote that smiling is “The simplest, most obvious, and most powerful of the body language commandments.” He also mentions that “Smiling conveys, both instantly and clearly, many wonderful things about yourself. Smiling demonstrates confidence, friendliness, a positive attitude, a good mood, and it gives the impression that you’re someone who is, most likely, fun to be with. It’s also very difficult to ignore.”
2. Have a sense of humor. Learn to laugh at petty matters. People love to be with those who can turn any situation into a funny setting.
3. Maintain eye contact. Your eyes are probably the most expressive parts of your body. When you look at your dear one constantly, you are expressing your sincere intentions. Eye contact also establishes a bond between two persons. They would naturally feel more comfortable in each other’s company.
4. Nod your head. By nodding, you signify your approval and you encourage the other party to continue talking. You give reassurance that your loved one is doing ok.
5. Be open, physically. Do not cross your arms across the chest or hold obstructive objects (such as a food) between the two of you. Put your hands on your sides (and if possible put your palms up) to convey openness.
Fathers should be honored
Now adays fathers are not honored. The good fathers take a bad rap from the bad fathers. The truth is there is alot of hard working, caring and loving fathers out there. We should celebrate father’s day like we celebrate mother’s day.
Make father’s days a special day. Take him out to a baseball game, to a movie. Get him a unique gift. Something that shows he is special. Not just a father’s day card with just a signature.
Let’s not forget about our fathers. They also have to be reminded that they are doing a great job. Fathers are not perfect they also make mistakes. So if he needs to be forgiven, forgive him. What a great father’s day present that would be.
3 Questions To Ask Yourself If You’re Ready To Live Your Dream
One thing potential entrepreneurs continuously ask me is what should I be doing to get started? Should I be researching business ideas? Should I be writing a business plan? Where can I go to get inspiration on a business?
Where I would start is by asking yourself three questions. Now, If I were to ask you these three questions in person, I would ONLY share them with you if you promised to take action. Because if there was any ONE thing that I see lacking with most people who think they want to become wealthy and those who know that they are going to be and that is ACTION.
Here are the three questions you MUST ask yourself in order to make independence your own reality.
1. Are you serious about REALLY living your dream?
2. Are you on the right track to get where you want to be?
3. What can you do today get yourself closer to your dream?
That’s it? You mean that’s all you’re going to give me Benny? C’mon – there has got to be some super-secret recipe that you can tell me that will start me on my way, some ONE thing that will lead me on my path to millions?
One thing that I’ve also learned is that my path is completely different than anybody else’s. I tried to do things exactly as others before had done, and it just doesn’t work. Now, there are some similar things that have been done before and will surely work. But what you want and what somebody else wants are two completely different things. That is why you won’t hear me telling you how to do things.
I learned some time ago that this thing called your “Why” is what gets you going NOT the “How”. There are a ton of books by these so-called gurus that will tell you how to trade stocks, or show you how they made millions by doing an infomercial. I love learning how they did it, but it might not necessarily be for me.
Alright, I hear you out there. Please show me something! Do you really want to make a million dollars or more? Do you want to know a business that will, if you are serious, take time to educate yourself and make smart business moves, you can become successful? Okay, it’s Real Estate. It is time-tested and proven and I have several friends who are worth millions because of real estate.
Tell me , what’s your HONEST reaction? Was it something like “No kidding, I’m doing that already.” , “Oh, I could never fix toilets at 2:00 AM”, “Should I flip houses, buy and rent?” or was is “Real Estate – nah too hard.” The truth is real estate has created thousands of millonaires especially over the last 30 years, and personally, I’ve dipped my toe in it, but it doesn’t excite me. So for many people who are interested in real estate as their passion – this works! For me, I’ll probably buy some more real estate, because I know how to, but it won’t be my primary focus. How about you?
Now go back to the three questions above, it is so easy to glance over the questions, but here’s how you do it. Read question number one. “Are you serious about REALLY living your dream?” What is your life like today? Comfortable? Easy? Predictable? For many, the corporate culture creates an environment of “Just below acceptable”. You do a job that isn’t too hard. You make enough to enjoy life. You have a house, a car or two, take a vacation or two a year and that works. After all, everybody else is in the same boat right? So if you ask the question, are you serious? Many people will just say – NO. Because their lives are fine right now. Because of that fact, you can’t move forward – you’re not ready to go on. So while question number one may seem simplistic, it is the hardest question for MOST people to HONESTLY answer yes to.
Three simple questions. Three honest answers. That’s all it takes to get you started.
Learning How to Let Go
As a self styled phenomenologist I like to break things down to their smallest part. In my day job I also have a natural desire and policy to do less and earn more.
I semi retired seven years ago at the age of 52. I owned a very successful business and was working seven days a week and a short day was 10 hours. I had enough, and lost interest in the business. I closed it down and took a year and a half off.
During this time I set out on my journey of spiritual awareness, and I starting reading books and writing articles. I took on a day job to supplement my savings and income.
My career as a salesman allowed me lots of freedoms to do my writing and manage my web site that was growing bigger and more popular every day. The current writing and web site management take up a lot of my time. For the last five and a half years I have considered my writing and web site as my work and my day job as my paying hobby.
In our sales meetings and in one-on-one meetings with the owner, he has said that any salesman who is not on the job to make money first shouldn’t be in a sales job. He and I have had head to head combat with this philosophy. Although he may be correct in his opinion, he is plainly expressing a limited philosophy in my view. He simply does not understand my philosophy about my job and why I am there.
My present philosophy is really very simple, and is just the different path I like it. My response to his constant question about why I am there is multifold.
I need the divergence so I don’t die in front of my computer, and getting off my **** is a good thing. I need inspiration and an alternate environment-I am on the road four hours a day and in four to six homes five days a week. I am by nature very reclusive and shy, and I go out of my way to avoid people. However in my work, I am just the opposite. People don’t believe me when I tell them how introverted I am. The job provides me the chance to interact with people on their level and in the comfort of their homes. It is the connection I need with others.
Because I specialize in the study of manifesting, my job has given me great opportunity to consider how it works virtually. Over the years I have modified my selling approach many times to try and achieve and maintain my position on the job. I have been a trainer and a supervisor. I have been at the bottom and the top, and I have never been one to remain content with the status quo or to remain in the same position.
The job is a buffet of opportunities for me to write about my experiences and the different individuals I work with. I have run the gammed of emotions on the job. I have been given other opportunities to help and I seldom turn them down when asked.
It is the perfect job for me-not for the money-but for all the other opportunities it brings to me. I have discovered a gold mine, and have gained great insight into how to manifest what I desire.
Finally after nearly six years on the job, I have adapted a philosophy and have made a great discovery about my favourite subject.
The owner and I have made a straightforward agreement about the percentage that he will pay me. I have no issues with that. He has guaranteed me four qualified leads a day and sometimes as many as six. We also agreed I could have more if I wanted them. Between the leads that are generated by the telemarketers, I also receive referrals and office leads (customers who have phoned in).
My job definition is quite very simple-just sell. My new approach as to how I maintain my job and give the boss what he wants is even simpler. I do as little as possible.
I believe if I do my job effectively, I will have all that I desire from it and the bonus reward will be a paycheck that will reflect my initiative. My focus now, as it was in the outset, is not about the money. The money will come when the job is done. I learned over the years to stop counting the money or worrying about how much I have sold and how close I am to getting bonuses and duly achieving my targets. I try not to think about cancellations, break-downs and human error. My new thoughts are-just do the job-the money will come.
I have been able to demonstrate this philosophy and it is working. I am doing less and the money is getting better. I am not trying to control the current situation any longer-in fact I try to forget about the situation and give it little thought. I still have to catch myself periodically from counting or watching over my numbers. Things are happening in my job of which I have no jurisdiction over that is making my job easier.
We are now in the off season for our products and services. The telemarketers are having difficulty supplying the salespeople with leads and we are sitting on the side of the road for hours-waiting. I am now making more money and doing less. I am making money by just sitting on the side of the road waiting for leads.
Because there are now fewer leads, the office manager is phoning previous customers and booking my calls from an old database. The closing rate on these leads is about 85% as apposed to a closing rate of about 50% on the cold calls. He is working harder and I am sitting on the side of the road for most of my shift and earning more money. I have no conscious control over these events. However, at a subconscious level I am participating in the manifesting of them.
I was asked this week not to come into the sales meetings in the morning. I have always been apposed to them as I don’t see them as informative or motivating. When I first started we had a meeting every day. I made so much noise over the years; I got them down to twice a week. Now I don’t have to go in at all. Yesterday I was given the choice to come in or not-it has now become my choice-I think once a week is perfect.
I love this job, it is now working for me, and I am not working for it. I started off working 6 hours a day, six days a week. I am now working four hours a day and five days a week. All the opportunities are there for me-they just keep coming.
There is only one thing I have to do, and that is sell. The job, the money and all the others things I cherish about the job will take care of themselves. They will not, only when I try to control them. As far as the money goes, I have a clear desire about what I require to receive at the close of the pay period. Between the beginning of the pay period and the end of it, I will do little to try and control how I get it.
My philosophy is working-the boss gets what he wants in the end, and so do I. It’s the perfect marriage. This article, hundreds more, and my books are all an outcome of this philosophy. It has been the greatest gift from my job. It is worth much more than the money I am earning.
My success is manifested by a desire and my own unique perspective. This philosophy may not work for others. There are some who would completely disagree with what I have written, and yet I am living proof that it has worked.
We are all great manifesters, few of us realize it, and once we try to understand the process our thoughts often get in the way of how it should work. We trip over our own feet. Keep it simple-do your job and take advantage of the opportunities which you are drawing to yourself.
If I was really wise, I would stop writing about these things. Just the very act of writing about it, changes it. Being true to my nature I must look deeper and by doing so, I am going to stick my foot in my mouth. However, this is going to create another opportunity for another article.
By doing less in my job and earning more, I have created the opportunity to do more with my writing and that is what I enjoy the most. I have also become more aware of opportunities and choices.
It is important to understand that by doing less, I don’t mean being irresponsible. I simply mean if you take full responsibility for your job and know the results of your work, it will bring you what you desire-you will work less and earn more.
If you try to maintain control of the steps to your goal-you will eventually lose site of it. If you let go, the probable opportunities will come to you, and then it is simply about making good choices.
By: Rilwan B Motolani
About the Author:
10 Tips for Improving Social Intercourse
“Social *********** is a two way street. Make sure you are
driving on the right side.”
- Bryce’s Law
INTRODUCTION
In past articles I have described the problems our younger workers are
having with interpersonal relations/comunications. Many find it easier to plug
into an iPod as opposed to working with others. This is resulting in
a socially dysfunctional workplace where people work at odds with each
other. To overcome this problem, I offer the following suggestions for
improving a person’s social ***********. There is nothing magical here,
just ten commonsense tips to help you develop better relationships with
your coworkers, your vendors, and your customers.
GREET SOMEONE
Nobody wants to feel unwelcome or unappreciated. If they do, they will
feel like outcasts and less likely to help you with something. The objective
is to make people feel at home. This can be accomplished with a simple
greeting or a firm handshake while looking at the person directly in the eyes.
It is easy to detect when a greeting is sincere or routine. Your goal is to
appear genuinely concerned about the person. This can be achieved by:
Complimenting on some personal attribute of the person (e.g., clothes,
hair, car). Inquiring about a person’s family (e.g., birthday observed, anniversary,
graduation, pets, health, etc.) Asking about an event the person recently experienced (e.g., attendance
at an event, participation in a volunteer organization/charity, a new job
or project assignment, etc.), Commenting on something newsworthy – community, sports, weather
(“What did you think about…?”)
Such greetings are an expression of your interest in the person. Too often
greetings become routine and, as such, less credible. Try to break it up.
A good, basic greeting can work wonders in building cooperation between
people.
ENGAGE IN A CONVERSATION
People have a natural curiosity as to what you are all about. The best way
to communicate this is to engage in simple conversation. Some people
are naturally shy and tend to withdraw from such discourse. If one
person is not willing to start a conversation, another should take the
initiative simply by asking the other, “How are you?” or “What do you think?”
A good icebreaker is to tell a joke. But in this day and age of “political
correctness,” exercise good judgment and taste in your humor. Avoid
slang and offensive remarks unless the occasion calls for it. Goodhearted
kidding and teasing is fine, as long as it doesn’t turn malicious.
Some people do not have the gift of gab for telling jokes. As such, tell a story
about some recent event that happened to you. But don’t ramble. Stay
focused and be sure your story has a point to it.
A conversation is a two-way street, regardless if it is humorous or serious
in tone. Look interested, stay focused, and ask questions. Also be careful
not to dominate a conversation unless that is your intention. If you have
a tendency to monopolize a conversation, people will be less likely to
engage in conversation with you.
For additional information on discourse, see:
No. 60 – “The Art of Persuasion” – Feb 20, 2006
http://www.phmainstreet.com/mba/ss060220.pdf
VOLUNTEER
Many people prefer to sit back and watch as others perform the
work. Volunteering your time or skills may add an additional burden
but it tells others you believe in them and are willing to help out. Such
an expression also makes it easy for you to solicit support when you
are in need of help.
ASK FOR ADVICE
Too often people are too proud (or too stubborn) to ask for directions
in our journey through life. But asking for advice from a colleague
accomplishes two things: first, you might get the answer you seek,
and; second, it says to the person you trust and respect their opinion. By
confiding in an individual, the advisor becomes concerned with
your best interests. This leads to mutual trust and respect between people.
When you are asked to offer advice to another, be as articulate and
rational as possible. If you do not know the correct answer, do not
fabricate advice or mislead the person. This will only shatter the person’s
trust in you. Instead, point him in another direction where he might find
the answer he is seeking.
NETWORK
It seems participation in trade groups and volunteer organizations today
are dwindling. This is surprising since such groups provide a convenient
vehicle to meet and exchange ideas with your peers. Such forums are
useful:
To exercise our basic social skills. To stay abreast of current developments in our field of interest. To establish relationships with people who possess different skills
and knowledge that can help us.
Instead of resisting networking with others, the younger generation
should embrace it. I heartily recommend joining trade groups and
volunteer/charity/fraternal organizations. Regardless of the group
dynamics involved, such forums help to improve ourselves personally
and professionally.
TURN OPPONENTS INTO PROPONENTS
Today we live in a competitive society (some prefer the expression “a dog-eat-dog
world”). I guess this is somewhat natural. There is nothing wrong with some
friendly competition; it is when it turns vicious, thereby turning competitors
into enemies, that you have to be careful. To overcome this problem, be gracious
in defeat and magnanimous in victory. This was the secret to Abraham Lincoln’s
success. After losing earlier political campaigns, Lincoln would stun his
opponents by appearing at their victory celebrations and offering a sincere
hand of congratulations and support. Because of this, his early opponents
became his proponents later on. After winning the presidential campaign
of 1860 he again stunned his opponents by offering them seats in his
cabinet. These former opponents became his closest confidants during the
dark days of the American Civil War.
It is one thing to go into a contest confidently; it is quite another to go in
with a chip on your shoulder, thereby inviting trouble. Take disagreements
in stride and pick your fights carefully. Ask yourself if it is really necessary
to create an enemy at this point in your career.
BE COURTEOUS
Your manners and how you interact with others says a lot about a person’s
character. Basic courtesy means you are socially well adjusted. No, I am
not suggesting everyone turns into a “Miss Manners,” but attention to basic
courtesy can improve your image with others. Small details can have a
dramatic effect. For example:
A simple Thank You note will be remembered for a service rendered.
I have been a program chairman for various organizations over the
years. After a speaker conducted a presentation for me, I would be
sure to send a thank you note to him/her for their presentation
(regardless if there was an honorarium or not). This is a nice personal
touch that is remembered. Consequently, I never have a problem
securing a speaker.
Invite others to participate in events. Again, a personal note can
work wonders and makes people feel wanted. If you stumble over
an omission on your invitation list (which inevitably happens), move
swiftly to correct the omission. Include people, don’t exclude them,
let them know their presence has meaning to you.
Above all else, watch your temper. As the old adage admonishes us,
“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.” A little
courtesy can go a long way towards building fruitful relationships.
BE POSITIVE
People naturally gravitate to others with a positive or upbeat personality. This
doesn’t mean we always have to wear a smiling face, but we should concede
that people like optimists as opposed to pessimists. As such, we should always
be looking for reasons why something should be done, as opposed to reasons
why it shouldn’t.
This leads us into the area of effective criticism. Avoid the temptation to
maliciously criticize someone or something. First, it makes the person look
like a whining and jealous naysayer; second, it tends to be more destructive as
opposed to constructive. It is simply good practice, when identifying problems,
to suggest alternatives as opposed to simply criticism. As Winston Churchill
astutely observed, “Any idiot can see what is wrong with something. But can
you see what is right?”
So, is the glass half empty or half full? Your answer says a lot about
how people perceive you.
BE OBSERVANT
As I have frequently written in the past, if there is anything constant in life,
it is change. Change is always around us, but it takes a perceptive person
to be able to spot the smallest of changes, whether it be a new hair style,
someone losing weight, a small job well done, or whatever. When a change
is observed, ask yourself why it has happened. Be inquisitive and understand the
rationale for the change. This will help you adapt to the change as well as improve
your interpersonal relations. For example, people are easily flattered when
someone compliments them on a change. It means you are perceptive and
interested in the person, both of which puts you in good standing with the
other person.
Included in this area is the observance of the names of people. It is
embarrassing to both parties when a name is forgotten. In particular, it sends
a signal to the other person that he/she is irrelevant in your eyes. This certainly
does not help build relationships. Asking for business cards is one thing,
remembering names is something else. This may require a little effort but it
is time well spent.
It is these little observations that go a long way. As an example, perhaps
the best secretary I ever saw was a lady named Myrna who worked for an
MIS Director in Chicago. The first time I visited the office, Myrna warmly
greeted me and asked if I wanted a cup of coffee. Saying Yes, she then asked
me what I wanted in it. I said cream and sugar, which she then made for
me. Months later when I returned to visit the MIS Director, Myrna greeted me by
name and presented me with a cup of coffee with cream and sugar. Frankly,
I was startled that she not only remembered my name but how I also liked
my coffee. Later I found out that Myrna maintained a simple card file;
whenever someone visited the office, Myrna would record their name
and the type of coffee they liked. Sharp. Very sharp.
BE HONEST
The linchpin to good interpersonal relations is trust. Regardless of our form
of discourse, nothing builds trust better than honesty, the basic building block
of confidence. Having an honest character conveys an image that you are
dependable, that your word is your bond, and you can be trusted to do the
right thing. But your reputation can be shattered overnight if you are caught
in a lie. Therefore, don’t falsify or mislead. If you do not know an answer,
do not fabricate one, but make every attempt to find the answer elsewhere.
We now live in an age where it is more commonplace to cover-up a mistake
as opposed to admit to it. Inevitably, all hell will break loose when the cover-up
is discovered. Instead, admit a mistake early on, correct it, and earn the respect
of your coworkers.
Give credit where credit is due. Remember this, nobody wants to work with
someone they fear will wrong, cheat or defraud them.
CONCLUSION
There are other areas I could have gone into with this article, such as “persistence”
and “leadership,” but they would fall outside of the scope of improving social
intercourse. I could have also covered such things as “gossip” and “finger pointing”
but, instead, I was looking for those basic elements for people to improve themselves,
not others.
Early in my college career I learned, “We enjoy life through the help and society
of others.” True words. Like it or not, we must interact with other people on a daily
basis. The tips I have described, while admittedly are simple, can greatly facilitate
how we interact with each other, thereby making our companies a better place
to work and live.
Look, its really not that complicated; just use your head, loosen up a bit, treat
others as you would have them treat you, and try not to stick your foot in your mouth.
By: Tim Bryce
About the Author:
Tim Bryce is the Managing Director of M. Bryce & Associates (MBA) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has 30 years of experience in the field. He is available for training and consulting on an international basis.
He can be contacted at: timb001@phmainstreet.com
Copyright © 2006 MBA. All rights reserved.
10 Powerful Tips to Improve Self Confidence
Jon Mercer asked:
If you are sensitivity? as you 're in a rut "and do not appreciate as much as you should, there are simple changes you can do to improve further the Take charge of security and s? of your life. Confidence affects every area of life, from relationships to the workplace. And improve the security of your s? avr? always a beneficial effect on both your relationships with others and your ability? deal with small ups and downs that life can throw us from time to time. How vettura staff development, I have worked with many individuals to increase the estimate of s? and self-acceptance. The following 10 tips are the result repeatedly improve the safety of s? for a wide variety of people.1. The clothes make the man and woman. S ', it' s an old cliche ', but that doesn' t make it far less true. When we dress with confidence, we feel safe. Try this experiment: For one week, dressed as the person you want to be, not the person you think you are. This? simple change can that dramatically improve self-confidence.2. Stop trying so? hard. The improvement in confidence should not be about fighting. Give up the test of being a perfectionist and gives permission to be a human being that far? of course sometimes the mistakes. An unerring sense considered inferior? Adjust the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut some relaxation – you deserve it.3. Focus your attention outside. The lack of confidence often leads people to focus a quantity? excessive internal focus on "self." Rendagli a point to concentrate more? attention on other than you about her. Remember, fire safe outside of the people – people insecure focuses inward.4. Avoid energy vampires. We all know someone who looks to "juice the energy" from a room just by entering. Permit elasticit? you minimize contact with these people. Don 't **** him or judge in any way. Recognizes that not only improve the quality? of your life and minimize your connection with them.5. Take a probability?. Try something new and different that you may be apprehensive about the past. Sign up for a class of adult courses, or join a book club, gymnastics, a bowling league or other social pastime. Agiti up your life a little '. Change it to? goods and the security of your s? improve.6. Whether an employer. Ci? an old proverb that says "you get only what you give." With that in mind, start giving what you want to get in life. Encourage other people to consider safe and useful as you can. Helping to develop the sensitivity? safe in others, you are sure to get back the same thing. Call karma or what ever you like – it always works.7. Practice forgiveness. Many people? very hard on himself because ", in depth gi?, there was no excuse for something in their past. If you 're the membership at some failure or transgression from the past, recognize that you are getting and then you completely forgive any era. Also, if there? someone else in your life you have to forgive, to make a point to do so. NOT in their interest – but for yours. When you forgive, cleanse our hearts and begin anew.8. Allegations: Take the questions correct. Some people repeat the allegations as "I'm sure s?," Which one? well, but you can improve your results using the statement of questions like, "why? are cos? safe? "The subconscious mind works in a very simple way. When you ask a question like this, it immediately andr? work looking for the answer and presenter? a meaning all of you already? you are "confident.9; Model" The other people safe. The one-way to improve the safety of s? ? to model the behavior of people who regarded as the supreme secure. If you can befriend a very safe, that 's great. But if you are not just an actor or other celebrit? what? confidence personified and studies their behavior. Do this several times a week and some of their mannerisms are limited safe to remove on you.10. Thanksgiving practice. A grateful mind? a peaceful mind and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. Do exercises in a daily list of thanks and especially the focus on different functions that you appreciated. Perhaps you are a great swimmer, or good at the math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are you good at drawing, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or all of the number of other positive attributes. Looking for what? great about you and then be thankful you have that quality. The appreciation of your quality? improve good? s security? and helps him to develop the kind of positive self-image that? determinant of success in life.
Dressed for Success: Corporate Clothing
Neil Tipping asked:
In business it is important that you dress for success. When customers see the company you represent they want to know that it is professional, outstanding in service and successful in all of its endeavors. It may be vain, but it’s true: clothing can project failure or success. This is why companies invest a lot of money into corporate clothing.
If a new client were to walk inside an office of your company but found a bunch of casually dressed, unkempt people who were chewing tobacco and playing video games, what kind of impression would that leave? They may be having fun, but is work their first priority? The client may wonder if his or her business would be their first priority. It’s easy to reassure someone of this notion, but actions speak louder than words, and a strong visual results from the action taking place. Hence, when clients see a well-managed office with happy people, busy people and a clean environment, their confidence is reassured without the need for persuasion. This should emphasize to you the importance of corporate clothing.
Corporate clothing may involve more than just a tie and slacks. Corporations may have to meet very rich clients, international clients or prominent celebrities. Your company’s workers should appear highly professional and impeccable in their tastes. Men are expected to wear a quality suit, and women should be attired in a similar, professional manner. You may not be able to find corporate clothing at a casual retail store. You can find suits anywhere, but are they really industry standard when you’re talking about worldwide communication?
Casual Corporate Clothing
All of this is true of professional attire, but you may know notice that sometimes corporate people are dressed casually, such as when they are out in public or going about a more laborious task. This manner of corporate clothing may be casual but it is still very clean and professional in appearance. Some corporations create casual wear for their employees for more strenuous work activities. They may even encourage employees to wear them outside the office in an effort to promote the company name and logo. This is a great technique in brand building!
You can have corporate clothing made for your company and have the insignia printed on a hat, shirt, pants or jacket. This also goes a long way in promoting positive employer-employee relationships. Employees can then feel like they are a part of a company family. Furthermore, wearing this company-branded clothing can help workers to retain their professional demeanor and always be accommodating to potential clients. Remember that corporate clothing doesn’t have to be cheap stuff. Some of the top companies are partly affiliated with major manufacturers like Nike, Hanes, Champion and Anvil.
Whether you are looking to improve your appearance or just have a friendly game of golf among your employees then your answer is in corporate clothing. You can find corporate clothing online for discounted prices, and of course, completely customizable for all of your business needs.